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You are cordially invited...

Well, it’s happened.  Our wonderful (now former) Pastor Stephen, is now in the service of Colwell Baptist Church on the Isle of Wight. We are now Senior Pastor-less, although we are not rudderless, as we’re being masterfully kept in line by Martin and Ken, our Associate Pastors. They will be keeping a firm hand on the Ampthill Baptist Church tiller, until some mad eejit can be persuaded that they really want the theological equivalent of herding a bunch of cats.

We are a lovely bunch of people, but there’s a lot of us, we’re unpredictable and… yes, herding cats is a good description.  Mad as a box of frogs would be another.

But Colwell have invited us – all 250 of us to the Induction Service. Look they even sent us a lovely invite!

Awww!  Isn’t that kind of them.

They clearly don’t know what we’re like, if they did, they’d have sent a restraining order, not an invite to the whole church!

Our dear friends at Ampthill Methodist Church probably breathe a huge sigh of relief when we all leave after a joint service.  Having Ampthill Baptist Church over to your place is like having a platoon of hyperactive cousins descend on you.  You know the type – the ones that fill the entire room with elbows, knees, smells, noises and can decimate an entire aisle full of biscuits in much the same way as pirhana’s get through human flesh.

If you are having a genteel event, you don’t invite Ampthill Baptist Church to it, you invite the Anglicans instead and stick us lot on the bouncy castle over the other side of the field. Anglicans know how to behave, us lot just stand in a huge group and look sheepishly guilty when asked who it was who exploded the can of coke over the wall.  That’d be John…  :D

So Colwell have invited us all over have they… *sucks air through teeth*  Good luck with that…

When we leave you’ll completely understand why Stephen spends so much time studying wee beasties…

…It’s because he’s been pastoring a bunch for the last 15 years!

If we’re all invited, then you’d better order crowd control barriers, paint, air freshener, extra J-cloths…

…and more biscuits than… Oh just do what I do, buy the whole aisle.

P S… Er…Colwell? You need a website.  First page of Google brings up ‘find a grave’ for your church.  Just a teensy bit of marketing advice from Stephen’s former website tweaker, that’s not really sending out the right signals…

This is all you need: Church 123 They are FABULOUS!



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January 2012


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